time ...

ok i just need to get this outta my head. i am not trying to explain anything to you outside of my own terminology lets just say this one is for me. maybe another post here will be of more interest to you but, how to give praise for to a mature for a blow job well received. i do apologize but someone gave me a few tips on how to get more hits to your blogsite .. and those words are a few so. nevermind them. let me talk about time.

time is mental. its the watch on your hand its the clock on the wall. and for those of us with true time guaging skills .. its the sun in the sky. but time is mental. all in our heads. sometimes individually and more often than not, collectively. time moves in one direction and memory moves in the opposite .. memory doesn't grasp a moment until time lets go of it.

it has been noted that marijuana squeezes out or frazzles and stretches the usual and ordinary sense of time. mary jane is time's worst enemy. i mean she does more than just ... take a dump on father time, she also helps many of those people who often need to pres pause on their lives. i know of many times i wish i could have pressed pause. will this blog bite me in the ass in 30 years? see there i go romanticizing time ... and its all in my mind.

"the 60's pop music, characteristically a psychedelic style [fueled by LSD] was ideologically ... hallucinatory, transforming concrete time and space into a higher realm of imagination and art. " i read that somewhere i think i am paraphrasing, but i wont take credit for summarizing the 60's so exactly ... so eloquently. i think it went on to talk about how humans are creatures of time, and slaves to it. willing slaves. we look at days and months and years, and that is what makes us age .. our perception of time. time will not be found on the periodic table of elements. ever wonder what that is all about? that means that no substance at its core has any relationship to time ... physically. though time may also belong to it ... even this is hard to grasp ... even while you are holding mary jane's hand.

time though not tangible is still physical. hmmm ever wonder what else could be what time can do? time .. once seriously studied, can be as hard to explain .. well hard for me .. but time finds itself classed with other things like the human mind, its soul .. its body. our bodies are [the temple of the God] and another text says our body is essentially just an aqueous suspension of giant organic molecules .. designed to defy gravity .. while gravity wield time as its weapon against us. who will win? stay tuned ...

our watches .. our seiko's and rolexx's and casio's all have a similar rhythms. but we still follow those rhythms differently. we let it seduce us ... those rhythms control us more than i think.

one time i was ...

i really don't want to post what i have written
not because it compromises my character
but because its not copy-written and will be stolen forthwith
if you aren't gonna steal my shit
make a promise to me ...
write it down on a piece of paper sign it for me and then send it to the
charmin ultra tissue company RE: T.Johnson special blend
then email me and i will share
but if you are going to steal an idea or two
just tell me ...
a lil honesty aint never hurt mel gibson
though he didn't give the Gideons a dime ... [i am sure]

Who is Enough?

if all i had was me
would that be enough?
would that be enough for you
or for my English teacher to give me a 'b' instead of the 'd'
she seemed so eager to place upon my paper
cuz my work wasn't up to her standards?
would i be enough to walk up to and talk up to Saddam and
ask that madman why he did the way he did
indoctrinating kids to fight for reasons
he didn't believe in enough to fight for himself
would i be enough to take on the extra assignments
at the office that no one else wants because
i would cut my solitaire time in half
separating myself from the average staff as being more
when the point of the assignment was my boss's raise maker
if all i had was me is that enough for a raise?
would i be enough to write the song that would unite
those with the same thoughts, do i need to do more than
the little i do now, but how
would i be enough to sit my mother and my sister down
over dinner and prove my lesbian sister a lesser sinner
to encourage love, am i enough to make love happen in my own
home, in my own heart i wonder am i enough
if all i had was me and no boys in the crew
no beer jokes and cigar smokes would i be enough to myself
am i enough am i all it takes to stop helplessness
and homelessness, cant i take that guy in off the street
i got a spare room and would like to assume that i can
i got more than i need, more clothes and food and time
and money but is the little i have, enough to give
would i be enough to empty orphanages when there are kids
growing up antagonized and without friends
would i be enough to brighten anyones day with a smile
with a listening ear, with truth in saying i care
how can i be enough to stop the crime its happening all the time
how can i be enough, life's a tree i still gotta climb
would i be enough to the families i drive by
avoiding saying hi cuz i really don't have time to talk
about them and their problems and discover the problems
and solve them for them who cant
if all i had was me and my hands and feet
to help the lady out there on the street
with three kids and a huge headache
change her two tires before i get too tired
to go home and wish i was enough of the man
i wish to be
so that i could make love to a woman
i thought was enough for me

Dedication to TalkRadio

please realize i realize we are all poets, i accept the mantle, i know it suits others a bit better, mines feels a lil wetter than usual, but thats besides the point, and above the part, i am stalling before you start to read. so i took a stab again and emptied my trashy mind again its amazing how quickly stuff get in here that shouldn't be hear, or here or heard. but my mind makes em into words and so here i type.

the fu ... that i don't care with
can sink ships
will make lips stop and slip
tripping over little words like
why and how again and again like
why and how and when
now can you press pause
like you're pressing down hard
on the gauze that the nurse just
bandaged your head up in
be glad you're not bed-ridden
or love smitten like those folks there
over where freedom is not a word
verbs like that aren't often heard
instead there are words of dread
even life seems dead
to those of you and me who refuse to see
that what we are doing here and now
even now and here are related lies
and we believe we will survive
and live false lives of false cries
but those folks there real cries haunt us, daunt us
make me feel like we're stuck
and i myself can't give a fu ...

It's not meant to be cynic, or scenic or graphic, its just what i did, with the CNN i cant rid and the MTV and E! i wish the TV did. get rid of. its not meant to be deep or sweet, or neat. or callous or cold, like life i guess its meant to get old, before its understood. i'd explain it now ... you dare me ??? i would. nah i'm just playing. i'm good. you would just never remember it anyway.

-fin.

The Day I Didnt Give a Sh!t

(this has been deemed un-apprpriate and removed ... i do care and apologize for offending it.) it will be probably re-posted after giving the topic a bit more ... head time.

... the bahamas tries

anna nicole: 'noun' - um the lady who cause alot of reporters and news teams from foreign stations to come here and take lots of video footage and investigations and interviews. and she's dead now, but her legacy (... is that the right word) lives on. maybe she is immortal or at least someone has granted her at least 4 years of fame after she dies. we are in year .. um one.

the bahamas' response: um, (do i have to type um) ... it seems kinda arbitrary but anyway for the moment. um the bahamas' has a way of mixing religion, politics, and drinking (usually alchohol) into ... um everything. as far as anna is concerned, i think we mixed the first two in pretty easily, but i wasn't invited to the funeral or 'wake' or (whats the thing afterwards) um reception. but wait theres more.

maybe i am out of my league (trying to analyze this whole situation) this really doesn't matter though. or does it? i work near the city of nassau, maybe in the city ok like i work in proximity of the reporters and rawson square and ... the geographical location doesn't matter. but i often walk pass the people who [aren't] responsible for all the glitz and drama surrounding anna's death, her son's death, and her baby's future with one of four (or is it five now) wow. what does that say about anna again?

let me try to phrase this as basically and truthfully as possible. we a doing our best to sympathize with a playboy model, who seduced and possibly used an elderly gentleman (made him happy though) while seeing many other guys. so much so that they all figure they can stake a claim to being a father ... of a terribly young baby. thats like realizing that one woman sleeps with four (or more) guys within the space of maybe a month. is that ... um worthy of ... further discussion.

so anyway this reminds me of an analogy me and my boys were struggling with. maybe a response could help. whats the difference between a slut a whore a skank a trick a prostitute a harlot or a bitch? this small paragraph is not really a part of the others but it might help clarify some things that were floating in my mind.

back to anna. i watch tv. i hate tv. but i watch it. i travel with my iriver media player and i seem only to use it when i am on some line, or in a lobby where the tv is on and while others are forced to watch fox, cnn, or or msnbc, i turn to my player and tune out the BS. i wish one of their reporters woulda stopped me. 'hey sir, what do you think of the way your government is handling our anna's affairs' to which i rehearsed several times my response 'um anna nicole ... yeah i never found personal pleasure in her pictures'

so, lets see. is the bahamas wrong? and the bahamian politician close to the situation, looks ... bad. i mean its not something i woulda stopped myself from doing .. hey i am a guy, she's sexy i woulda snapped a few pics for posterity. i woulda hung out. i dont think i woulda accepted money from her. or get her set up so ... mysteriously, magically quickly. um politics is not my forte. and analyzing it, though fun, can be quite a tiresome quarrelsome undertaking. and its 10 pm and i'd rather be sleeping (or drinking)

life is weird. the bahamas isnt a beach but sometimes i think the world acts as if thats where we are educated. there's alot to learn on a beach. (i wont go into those lessons now) you would have to be here to understand. waitaminute we are supposed to mix drinks somewhere in this story, behind me is the bar and i think i came prepared so enough blogging for now.