transcripts: emersion mindreel

circumstances not called for

2010-09-08T13:11:00.000-07:00

everyday is different. sometimes the same problems attach themselves to us. either through habits or our environment. i need a moment of clarity to simplify my own mind. and then i remember ... small minds are subdued by misfortunes; but great minds rise above them.

when a mind rises above something, the process is visible. [although a physical state may take a while to catch up]. its not like me to encourage brevity of mind. but today i manifest a helpless exception. expounding on the title will only re-inforce the dark, and i'm only interested in moving past it.

Its definitely NOT the beginning

2010-08-07T17:16:00.000-07:00

far removed from the injustice's many people accept as life, I now sit. when the sun goes to sleep, it actually moves beneath the horizon of my patio, it's an awesome feeling; waking up a little blinded by the last thing you saw as you fell asleep. i'm due to leave these shores soon. but like a marriage, sailing around the world in a freakin' awesome yacht, is a serious undertaking. thankfully i seem to have been provided with the type of people everybody wishes they could have. sincere, diligent ... emotional creatures.

now there's alotta talk about the ''invisible energy'' americans call it daylight, africans call it heat, europeans call it ''mine'' ... but it's ok because nowadays, everybody knows, thats what europeans like to call everything. [my career as a stand-up comedian is actually something i am considering now], but before september need to get a few months of ... non-fluidic mental chao-bservations onto an expressible media.

my hair is longer now and i've actually joked about letting it grow 2-stories long. such a reality would surely need to visit at least all major seaports on the planet ... there's a story here, and a vibe that cant be explained all the time with words. but such things have been contemplated since ''in the beginning'' ...

to wake up in the bahamas

2009-10-22T11:01:00.000-07:00

have no mistake. i didn't know what day, month, season, and for a moment there, year ... it was. this does not mean to give credit to any of the sweet aromas ... did i say sweet? perish the connection ... intensely insane scents, that an ''island in the sun'' can have. the local farmers seem to be well paid, and agrilculturists have seemingly become more connected to the processes necessary to sustain a viable working economy.

this paragraph was supposed to be first. it should be every vacationer's dream to wake up somewhere special. i did and i do regularly. if there's an honest mistake. its right there and i'm doing it. regularly. i think the point might be lost but i'm talking about deciding which island is lovelier over the next. no. this is not a promotional ad for the government, i do not have the minister of tourism's email address although i think i could find it online ... if i really wanted it ... but then he'd just laugh out loud ... [lol] ... at the notion of writing me a cheque ... not because he's got bad credit ... heck no ... his credit is good ... this year. (circa 1997- present)

they [we, voters] change them all the time. i guess its like heaven for those guys. and that's why i took the time out today to see if typing about heaven (as i guess i can use the term to define the thought i wanna realize when i figure out that i'm dead already ... oh) this may stem from an unwritten term paper i was going to turn in after my literature teacher asked me to write a funny advertisement, so i chose ''a funeral home having a two-fer-one deal''. of course i got a c ... but "my idea of heaven", does sound like a cool creative game ... that may require full family participation.

in heaven a person can see themselves exactly as they want to, of course ... why not? of course why not, unless you're in hell and you don't realize it. [re-evaluate] ... pending

in heaven, the sun will be a star, that i can visit when i feel the need to cool off, if not the sun around this planet, then some other sun, or star, or whatever term creatures be calling it by. i'll meet things for sure, but why would any of them want to harm me? such intentions are below beings of like-mind. so 'i'm dead and this is heaven. i guess heaven is a term for the ''change'' from physical to ... other spectrum of light. i don't need a body to exist, although having a body is fun, can be fun ... circa AD1 so no need for food, its time for ??? thought?

i read somewhere that the universe is mental, but it wasn't in some secret library in the Bahamas, the one that also was something else a hundred years ago. a prison .. the prison .. it was tiny a hundred years ago. i wonder which government was in power then ... i must not speak of myth ... but i believe i was prime minister then, and i got re-incarnated to try to see if i can do it again. but I'm on vacation right now, and i woke up not knowing what day or month .. or season. today .. like yesterday .. and the day before .. was awesome for folks on new providence ... again. as usual. [more Europeans landed today] but i was not at the airport to greet them. it never was something i felt inclined to participate in ... though a rose by another name might shock the hell outta you. try saying 'clitoris' anywhere a ''rose'' is spotted ... we do have an insane asylum though .. i do admit.

well of course after a while the joker was sent here to sandilands, those who understand. he was molested by a 35 year old jungalist, and quite frankly never was the same after that. last i heard '68 busted him out and there was supposed to meet on the island where the fountain of youth was ... but they moved the fountain before they met up in time ... '68 got caught and the joker went back to the jungalists' hillside [the place is off the chain] luxury ... living spot. if a hurricane hit us ... they'd have like and high-def .. view of it.

i think there is a ministry of jungalism, its underground and off the chain. i dont give shout outs ... and i think people who do them on the radio are living in ... a twisted logic of verbage and intent. but all the ladies know ... jungalism ... is a state of mind ... (see c. g. jung, well-known psychologist, i prefer to think of him as a psychotic psychologist) .

although pronounced very differently, its culture exists across borders and is united by bright colors, and beautiful speech patterns often un-distinguishable yet enjoyable to the ears. why cant there be jungalists in heaven? heck i'd want them to exist [i think?] i mean but they'd all get to be what they'd want to be ... and i cannot impose a culture on an individual ... just because of a selfish desire, that would be un-dead-of-me-like ???

of course explaining this to a child can be a creative parents dream come true, most would rather you eat your [fast food restaurant and toy here] and get to the non-baby making fun of humanly existence, wow no sex in heaven? that doesn't sound like very many people may want this dead thing after all. and that's what they mean by ''the good die young'' of good age .... i think wars are designed to keep the young men from developing their understanding of all things sacred.

how many countless soldiers are fighting for revenge? like a million? all over the planet, the nature of mankind is violent. but violence does bring about peace. and peace is what i woke up to ... today, like yesterday ... in a minute i hope to blink my eyes and be on another island. i should make that my official follow up duty. i am trying to decide between ''hillside off the chain'', ''deep water diving and swim school'', ''bayside bar and grill'', or ''the reggae Hermitage'' ... that place i guess, can also be a ''personal'' heaven.

A Few Sources

2009-10-15T15:55:00.000-07:00

i call them sources, but they are more like repositories. i am about to update my tech and i figured here was as good a place as any, to put em up for future reference. this information and these sources do not belong to me. i refuse to accept responsibility for any of your experiments even if they go horribly well ...

[winterboard] : crystal voice
[icy] : apt.ripdev.com
ispaziorepo.com
apt.bigboss.us.com
apt.modmyi.com
apt.saurik.com
repo.smxy.org
apt9.yellowsn0w.com
www.zottd.com
cydia.iclarified.com
iromrepo.com
cydia.hackulo.us
apt.123Locker.com
repo.sinfuliphone.com
intelliborm.com
nickplee.com
apt.hackers.nl
apt.zanekills.com
apt.iphone-storage.de
repo.beyouriphone.com
apt.pwncenter.com
cydia.touch-mania.com
[cydia] : cydia.hackulo.us/
xsellize.com/cydia/
apt.ripdev.com/

these are all i have at present and its a bit too long to memorize, for those who want further explanation of these; they are digital sources for an iphone or similar device that can access the internet to better themselves ... the human equivalent would be very difficult to co-relate indeed. [my english lecturer would tell me use correlate ... and miss my point]

I was ill, but I am still getting better.

2009-07-04T15:33:00.000-07:00

for quite some time now, western medicine/culture has been engaged in a cold war battle with eastern medicine/culture. the reason for it, although necessary, has not been looked at, to enhance a unified value system of both medicine and culture. the fight is elementary and invisible. modern day sherlock holmes would be no more important than ... what-his-indian-face name again.

the amount of information humans are not aware of is enough to stop his heart, if it was to be tried to be applied to his normal body. no, a normal body and a brain can only be aware of 'so much'... evolution has it's safety precautions seemingly still in place. [i mean no disrespect earlier, but i have not been made aware yet of many western teachers who were masters of wisdom and vessels of enlightenment].

the internet will be that which our minds now, cannot imagine will transform the generations of our future. it is with deepest sincerity that i apologize for not being able to create a video form [following this example] however as soon as i acquire more information i hope to connect audio, visually, and lithographically ... or writing .. i don't know the term, catographically ... lol. in english until i understand Sumerian and possibly keep record in that form.

theory of the universe

2009-04-18T14:37:00.000-07:00

every human being on the planet falls into an ''either or'' category at most .. if not all points of time in their lives. Of our meager earthly mileage (the earth has been here a long time before we were ->fact) ... this meager mileage has terrified us to the point of mass awareness by a few ... and mass hypnosis on the other. 2012 or december 21st 2012 to be more precise ... seems to be the day in our calendar,where we are supposed to ... [all the living anyway I cant seem to figure out what happens to the dead yet ...] face death ... and with 90 percent of the population perishing ... because we did not invest in science and truth as we should have.

And for that we must call this day [or if the calculations are off ... then that day]... a day of truth. Not merely because some of us will be caught off guard ... 90 percent of us. And interestingly another 90 percent of us are going to be in the wrong place ... well I know its scary but truth is the only light in a dark cave. I think. So biological chemical ... nuclear death, water death ... fire death, all kinda death ... but lets all pray that the forecasters are wrong. But I think a human that does not learn himself or herself or themselves [seeing as we have the tendency to pair off into male – female - female – female - female – female - female relationships ... ] will undoubtedly otherwise be either doing something ... and make a ''God given'' choice to do it /:?... and are gonna choose otherwise. That the major way I can really see how 90% of the planet cannot feed itself.

The earth is a planet [=rock] located in space [sector quadrant :?unknown] ... we are currently in orbit around a bright sun [=dot] along with a few other planeets. That dot is wonderful but to think it doesnt wander around another dot would be asinine ... so guess what guys ... the rock that we are on is and awesomely fast rock ... it has been here for us when we needed it ... its not going to be here forever .... now it just so happened that our rock around a dot ... wasnt the only one in existence ... there being billions of dots we can see everytime we can afford to build better telescopes. Now we call ourselves human ... without ever knowing why, we sleep and get up and do the things we do without ever wondering why. We can ignore the ideas we choose to and have the ones we focus on. We are lost as a species when our leaders do not excel in the field of the humanities and the arts.

This is ''neuroscience'' .. the study of the human brain. I am no authority on the subject but in its practicalities I have been studious far more than the person who is blissfully considered aware of his own averages. Our current physiology was designed ... and has evolved during our duration and acclimation to this rock' that circles that dot ... etc. etc. the survival of the species depends on its leaders. Of course this cannot be proved ... but merely speculated as having the closest value to what highly educated men speculate as truth. Print. Are our leaders as ill advised as this sentence can be both read, and heard, and understood? but I say both ... but its actually three [fact].

Three is a number but it is also a concept employed to many constructs such as math .. and geometry ... duh. But also of music and art. There are three sides to every coin ... I get it. Many wont. Some do. Others wont. And then there will come a time when ... nobody actually cares anymore. hi. Welcome to the planet that we are stealing from others while they steal it from us. And I dont mean aliens, or extra-terrestrials. I dont know what I saw, but the energy I sensed was that the being knew I had already thought of losing in battle to it. This weak minded thinking is what happens when brain functions are offf balanced. I feel honeored to belong to an age of science and witness information becoming as instant as heaart attacks. Thats the cardio-vascular section ... three halls over from this quadrant now.

People who do not understand how themselves as a creature behaves can get caught up in a veil of dis-humanity and call it their own. And many call 'love' the answer ... love is no answer. Well I am sure that it is an answer in the grammatical sense. But not in the ''understood'' .. or ''practical'' sense. Imagine if you will ... a man was given the task to understand something and develop a practical implication of his ideas as it relates to his understanding.

Voice: ... [pause] if you wanted it, you would have gotten it. I have many and I am sure youre questions are few. I will not let you die before you get a chance to question me. But I am trying to see. You see I cant see ... and I cant talk unless you are very ... very ... very much paying attention to me. The best way to describe me is the ... ok picture yourself having three eyes as a baby ... and by the time youre born your parents are happy to see you because your third eye is no longer seen.

*that pesky voice. It reminded me of a computer program. There is consciousness in the strangest places''

....Yeah so the story goes we are like what we do. If we are smart enough to breed dogs we are dumb enough not to appreciate the beauty of ourselves being bred and .. designed. And interbred. Love is ... if love was the feeling that comes over people when incest occurs then human royalties might love each other very much ... and interdimensions would be easily seen in humand had a third eye ... that might triangulate its exact position in the universe and embrace the consciousness it supposes ... waits for its death.

So it scares its self to happiness with religion and the belief system. A belief system of so few .. among so many how dare it not claim oppression. Why is it that the highest religious are the greatest oppressed .. yin yang. Not the twins. Sorry guys. We will party with you guys again soon fo real. But if a persons brain is imibalanced ... the scientist that needs 200 years of research to come to a neurological conclusion .. is by far more important than any who just wanted to fly into space. It is my last position that I accept the path that I have chosen to find out this information and concede the fact that I do have the tools in my life now to promote this message. I have thus only to tag this note.

Not knowing .. or caring of what you are .... is a product of genetic manipulation. [fact = currently held in highest rank and regard as truth, ie. not yet a lie]

you fill your life with ...

2009-02-04T13:41:00.000-08:00

i guess times aren't so bad when you have the ability to think back on other things. sometimes things seem very difficult, but when it comes to integrity ... integrity always seems to almost miss out. but even to wonder is to treasure a passing second. a moment.

life's filled with moments, and either they are yours ... or you give them away to the one that seems to need it. but to think this slowly has to be giving many a head-shift. more like a [total ignore] but what we fill up our moments with ... we fill up our lives with. thanks to mother nature's beautiful names she assigned to each and every one of us.

scientists say this dna is related to bits and bytes and compound arithmetic and complex equations and last i heard they deciphered 3 billion ... [of the actual code element of dna] so it can be a word ... in some sort of language. but if the things we think about and the things we do about are not in some sort of order, we will never have the answers that we seek. and then again many do not seek any answers further than the next meal.

thoughts of an economy as a dollar bill struggling to hold up a plate of cookies because many ants are eating away at the dollar bill and cookies are falling from the sky and more ants are coming and the dollar bends more and the cookies slide ... is not copyrighted, so go ahead and use it television already. we are the ants. we put the dollar there to give us our cookies when we wanted. we were few then. and the leaders among us didnt imagine we would turn into what we are now. maybe some of them did.

we fill our lives with eager anticipation that either the messaiah would arrive or ... cuz the leaders are lacking the ability to see. proper planing must look at the past and the future ... never the present. but presently news = hollywood, because the television was never used as it should have been intended.

stop me all ... if this thought does not f@#$ you up. can you imagine the human race if televisions had turned into schools. i mean of course you see what i mean. can you imagine if televisions only show educational materials ... only. ONLY. i mean from day one lecturers could veritably retire. schools could close and monitored safety parks and sports and technical vocational areas take their place. parents could stay home ... [i dont know how yet.] but the smoke drifts away now. and all of a sudden ... maybe you can understand how stupid i think i really am. [and maybe not]

so you fill your life with your moments. trust me i know how you feel. buts its a big world.

the trouble with love is ...

2008-12-28T11:12:00.000-08:00

sometimes when a dog barks and your mind actually thinks you can identify ... something it is intending ... then would be a good time to get angry at science for being absurdly stupid. see the thing about science is .. it aims to prove or disprove a hypo ... back up .. right there. it aims to prove.

it should have aimed to influence ... maybe then it would have been given more attention. and all manner of heavenly daydreams can be fulfilled. sorry i meant 'could have been' ... funny how we always almost miss it ...

next week wednesday

2008-12-27T13:28:00.000-08:00

It is only a step from boredom to disillusionment, which leads naturally to self-pity, which in turn ends in chaos.
... these are not my words, i dont think anything i have ever written has ever sounded so vague. most of you will never truly understand the mind of the man that has gone down in history for saying them, hopefully, me neither. but to take every last one of those words and feel the negativity inherent in its nature, you might come to the assumption that it bears not repeating ... because it appears to be true.

the are other things that appear to be true too. butter is bad, so is sugar, so is the bread, and the vapor molecules of fume that now go undetected by most, when buying gas. my english teacher could never see eye to eye with me ... punctuation still made words awkward, less restrictive punctuality meant my own understanding and how i delivered it back was always my interpretation of what the .... ever you just told me. this is me. cursed with a genetic memory though i think that whole slavery thing wont fully go away ever ... today i bought a chicken salad sandwhich. the guy [ethnically different] seemed to be uneasy with my ethnicity or .. but i guess people are afraid. i guess black guys eat less of this sandwhich here .. than anywhere where i am from and where he is from ... scary indeed

but what appears to be true is the fact that no one knows what overcrowding looks like ... we are killing the planet whales are dying ... etc. so many problems. why is no one doing anything about it? do'nt give that .. it all starts with us that bs is see through to monkeys. am i not then more intelligent than mere donkey kong? ... well the sad part is king kong fought ... and we kicked his ass. not me .. but those rich enough to have travelled far enough to misinterpret the creature.

no offense though because thats what we teach our kids ... but we are only teaching them what we havent the time to begin to understand. so do habits become blind, ritual empty ... and then nightmarish mirror reflections of the opening line ... do about it we must. i believe deception ... is grossly misunderstood. most people [myself included] sometimes are totally unforgiving of their own ignorance and dismiss themselves as to being ''perfectly'' still themselves after seeing a magic trick or unexplained event. most people dont know how an airplane flies, or how much work goes into computer programming.

you see we all have the ability to understand something phenomenally different about our environment. because we are so thankfully different. but even our interpretations and understanding of ourselves and our environment is not widely communicated. most conspiracy theorists dramatize the fact that something has happened, or is going to happen, or we are being lied to. this is because even the dissenters from the social norm have an organismal optimistic approach to the preservation of life.

what i do not see are the minds that have realized that we are in an endgame situation. and that calamities [i hope i killed that biblical term correctly] are more than likely a pre-determined occurrence and if overpopulation is invisible, then i wonder where is it in the bible about how many people can successfully live on this rock before christ returns. i am not saying this jokingly, the water in your town is not as good as it used to be ... until you had to pay for it. water ... i bet some people could never imagine paying for water. billions of em. but not us bloggers.

i am sure all of this may not sink in until next week wednesday.

unregular human disposition

2008-12-14T10:37:00.000-08:00

firstly most people who read this, will have a most difficult time identifying the underlying positivity that lies underneath this crude exposition. most people are born without a knack or understanding of science outside of the scope of their daily routine. this is due to nature? i wont argue for, or against nurture. but i do propose that the vast majority of us are pre-disposed to life as we know it.
this involves the following of various models, religious, political, familial cultural etc. all of which have no basis in the proper determination of [a daily renewed] quantum experience.

lets face it, there goes more unexplained everyday, than goes explained, this process of explanation [in a way] helps us to evolve [or devolve] ie. communication like this being read, will be seen as primary in nature, to some, while others will have no idea of implications generated by the anti-thesis to many of these statements [including those you haven't read yet].

science can not explain everything, but by trying to do so, we raise the level of humanity to plateaus that are often mistaken as significant days, era's .. periods etc. when in fact the only significant events are usually shielded from public view. this mere hypothesis is so plausible it has to be taken as a possible reality. but realities [controlled environments because every environment follows its own set of physics] are not for everyone. some humans have been genetically ... de-vovled. anyone who thinks they use the total capacity and use of their brain should be able to provide you with the hard maths that proves this theory.

that's what we as humans do everyday. we theorize and philosophize on the tiny details and we continuously conduct experiments within our known environments. our ability to remain restricted to our realities is more or less in-evitable. as the movement of time or our in ability to detach ourselves from it, contributes to some of what we term the human condition.

science is quite possibly the most important tool necessary in making life easier, nazism explored and exploited this belief with selfish results. why? i am no nazi but i do identify with fundamentals that the leaders during that period acted upon. they acted on their beliefs, not many people on the planet act so viciously on beliefs that are so ... basic. these are people of which money is just a word. and politicians are simple tax collectors and i hate to use the word liars ... i prefer the term, ''engaged in dis-information for the sake of'' [insert minority group here, or global cause, or simply imagine a check to be written out to whoever you wish in any amount not to exceed 3 million dollars ... deposited where you want it] this is a job most government officials pray to get the chance of.

i have had the un-deniable task of trying not to think macro-cosmically. this has caused me to be a bit removed from normal influences and seek the influences of the few. finding the few seems to be simple enough, but without a Ph.D. behind my name i have had to prove my true intentions on 2 occasions. [classified] what i am hoping for [to come out of all of this] is the influence of more to turn to science, it may uncover realities more important than any television series, ballgame, opera show, vacation to the bahamas etc.

i am in the bahamas and yes the weather and the reality in which i find myself is ... can be very enjoyable at times, but the worlds i have been exposed to, have more than helped me realize that an island location is a great escape from harsher realities forced upon some [in a tragic way] and generously gifted to others. i am not proposing that just because you have a question, you should have it answered by someone who can answer it. but maybe i would answer it for you ... if you would simply accept it. but because our heads are so humanly strong once we push it in one direction .. its hard to pull it back out [lol] i am currently working on frequencies and the human bio-electro magnetic field. military already has physical equipment geared toward affecting the human body with invisible unaudible ... waves that can be used for many effects, from hot-stasis [opposite of cryo-stasis, which involves the stopping of the physical body among other things] hot stasis involves tuning of cells to a level of resonance that ... heals the cell, removes foreign substances [at the cellular level] and can actually have an almost limitless applications depending on the frequencies that can be safely used.

i do not write code, but hopefully i become gifted with this ability in the near future. and no its not like i am just gonna be on a beach in a few minutes ... a guy got laundry to do, sleep to catch up on from ... last night etc. today i was asked who could be blamed for us? [social-culture] but i left it alone ... the asker must seek out their own. my demons belong to me, and i wont let them near anyone else. i may get a chance to test out my science on them .. soon enough.

music lesson

2008-11-15T16:51:00.000-08:00

a simple worded multi-conflict direct approach to the sensation of re-creating, interpreted audio signals. music is a very vague word, the truest form of the thing we are actually referring to is best left to the earliest form of the word. to hear a thing and like is ... is music to one's ears.

in order to understand what you can create musically, you may have to endure years of training, hours of practice, a mind meld, aura transplant .. whatever. but to do that is to connect to a reality, i will use the word ''audality'' songs are already copyrighted by me to that name. [seeders please remain seated]. the reality will be like a brief moment connected instantaneously [almost] with another brief moment ... where your ears input probably a greater amount of information (in relation to your eyes) .. to your brain. and the sound of things becomes ... almost as solid as if you were looking at them.

this can all be done without the aid of harmful substances. however in most cases it is necessary to do research into any field very thoroughly, talents arent just designed to exist. they help in evolution [doubters made me torch the term transcendance] ... awareness of realities ... it can be addictive. in and of itself music exists as many things ... and this vague term holds more in connection with the realities that exist closer together, it is a generator, or re-alignment mechanism ...

like i said it is many things. i suggest every person make a to-do list. make time for themselves and use that time .. either listening to music, or practicing in its creation. the sounds generated are purposeful exploits ... and provide [a neuralogical layout] easy examples of human nature ... in the form of sound, time, and with closed [or ninja] open eyes ... color.

blog transformed

2008-11-08T14:23:00.001-08:00

and so now i begin something else folks ... a blog that will turn into a music meter. please enjoy i hope to be fully functional by august 2009. i have a 6 month vacation i got to get to first ...

gossip: form a

2008-10-25T09:09:00.001-07:00

i heard this somewhere, a truly well written quote to say the least of it, dont mind all of this flattery because even if it does sound like me i could always just look for it now and ah yes it says here that i wrote it ... a truly smart man, knows that he must be educated every moment of his life ... even if that means he must constantly re-educate himself on the things he thinks he already knows.

i dont know why i would post something as abstract ... or write melodies broken by time of repetition. things slow down and stop. eventually. this wont be last time nor was this the first time. this is another time. give time a heritage and we live with but .. a very distant descendant apparently very ill ...

indications of separations

2008-10-24T18:33:00.000-07:00

to listen to the voice in the back of your head ... all the time ... can get annoying. but whats more annoying is when you ignore it and it tells you ''i told you so''. terrence mckenna [r.i.p.] has influenced me more under the influence of his ''persistency'', than i think i have been influenced by any other subject, but as in most cases, i hope to be decidedly wrong.

the title of this blog will by no means, justify the contents to anyone, except he or she who can see through curtains of ... velvet anything. mere ranting has never felt to be, or not to be, more shakespearean than ever before, to me .. my love though art nought but fair, that which ought to be denied me ... but denied only until i say cease! i can control who i am and what happens.

most people are sheep, behold we are sheep ... led far astray. my ideas stolen once written, now only exist in the cochlea .. when i come down off this mountain i won't remember why i wrote cochlea, so please lets just leave it alone. a persons destiny unfolds onto their skin renewed with vigor and power once touched by a radiant sun.

scientists all around the world in every field of knowledge imaginable has produced quite possibly 2 /5th's of all the information vital to the utopiafication of this planet .. yet we do nothing. we stand at our leaders side and advocate with them .. against another set of ''thems'' .. ''why the fuck cant we all just get a fucking-long already''. never the philosophical thinking type i somehow manage to astound every male older than me into ... child's play for conversation, just because they have no patience to let too much time pass between them and something .. they may actually like.

all words, like time, come back into play, some words will be quoted and others left out. i don't mind any mis-construction .. construe? mis-construed is what i just got as a possible candidate for an alternate word. but we cant get along because of the exact same reason. of course explanation will be provided but still only in part ... as i care not to do this too often no matter how many people read-and re-read. we cant get along because we want to seem better than everyone else. better spellers ... better actors .. more courageous, more rich ... technologically more advanced and the list goes on. i would like to thank germany for the term ''misconstrued''.

but that which holds us together only seem to have till 2013 ... because i heard that due to an explosion on a planetary level is due to creep up on several billion of us and kinda connect us back to the square root of the the diameter of the element light is made of. now i know it all seems scary. but why is it that some people embrace the holocaust ... from BOTH sides. i do not mean the ones in the past that are scary, because that's where i am getting my data. i mean the ones .. that intelligent people in this world have the capabilities of detecting and predicting.

a crazy guy once told me ... there's always a clock ... somewhere ticking down to something. i guess that meant he should devote his life to nothing, maybe he sees it differently. he definitely lives life harsher. the elements beat down his flesh more ... his skin and feet are dirty and thickened .. he smells, and he's over it. its a big step to get over one's smell .. when you smell utterly foul. but society is actually alot sicker. societies are sick things ... when sick people are in control of it ... simple ... shit.

but maybe its just an absence of love. love is just a word to billions of us. its my mother my father ... then crushed, often. mixed and stirred ... sometimes with ice. mostly without. but always protect yourself ... son, this world is a sick place to be, gotta love your God, your Queen and your country. unlearn all that bullshit she told me. ''... she had sex'' with the reverend, anyway that's what she told me, all i did was sit at a bar and wait for someone to bother my saturday night, in she came ... i talked real lame, she seemed a shame and a waste to be in this place. she shoulda been locked up because a good man knocked her up a few times ... but she was out to play. too many bad boys took her hopes and dreams away.

i stand alone, i stand ... i tire of all this i have to change. for money .. or love or power .. or nothing. death comes so quickly to those not looking for it .. not cooking up schemes and homemade pipe dreams .. turn religion .. turn oil into gold. a statement of faith shall not stand up to a statement of truth. and the truth shall set me free. have i spoken true? then why don't i feel free yet? maybe because i didn't get the key yet?

the day i stopped voting.

2008-09-12T14:25:00.000-07:00

the title of this section was going to be more obscene, before i remembered and realized that this isnt my book ... this internet, its not just ours ... hold on to your passwords people, i dont and i am doing rather awful this evening, the bank called me at work. and they put my cousin on the phone to tell me i owed them 84 dollars ... and 31 cents. but on top of having a person within 5 miles of you that makes you sick [yeah let me fix this idea i am trying to deliver; ... a person makes me sick. i am allergic to a particular person, when we are 5 miles apart, i have an allergic reaction. that person is now within a 5 mile area ... and about 2 miles at least ... within any given moment. ] and the 84 31 thing was today too. ok so on to the obscenities.

about 7 days ago i heard a comment so innocent it seemed at that very moment believable and hold on a minute let me fact check it. the time that actually takes place between one sentence and the next can be alarmingly high. the stories i can tell you ... but i must try to remained focus ... anyone who can should read about canadian politicians. good stuff in there but the comment was that canada has had three prime ministers in a ten year span.

the person making the comment was an astute fellow head banger i met in a dive while surfing the net for free airfare to [invasion of privacy and deleted ed. s.m. ] it seems like it doesnt matter the era you look at canadian politics, theres something in it that just feels good to me. politics is the face, and the machine currently making our world turn, politics is a very human thing and although most people do not follow the teachings of the people that led their ancestors ... people .. us .. we are quite fine following the ones of today with their bullshit.

but a political turnover as huge as that ... has to come from the amount of attention the citizens are paying to the people in their politiks [left in ed s.m.] thats alot of attention. thats the amount of attention that is near total ... and near total attention is what seems to be the only thing that makes the system of politics more efficient, to a level that only leads ''consumerism'' left ... to be dismantled from the inside of course, maybe someone sees another way, but i been fighting consumerism please dont make me type that word anymore ... i been fighting it (please note i would love to say that for the rest of the story whenever i say i was fighting an it .... i'd like for the reader to be well aware that i dont want to type that word again so i am not .. i dont care if i already typed it and all i have to do is cut and paste ... i am not cutting nor pasting, i am simply saying it.

i been going on too long now and the amount of time that passes between a paragraph seems to be enough to get a girl pregnant and lose about 8 years of time. its alot of time .. is all i am saying, dont think differently. and if you do. then good. for you. me i got no plane to catch so i'll be here all night. i never thought about that. the internet is where anybody can always be found at ... my ip address is marked. it might be a good thing ... maybe i should pay more attention to that. instead of voting for awhile. as well as my unopened internet bill. as you see i will be fighting 'it' for a long time to come.

i only did that it like that because even if you are ADD it should now register for always the its's you will see in the future.

time ...

2007-09-20T18:36:00.000-07:00

ok i just need to get this outta my head. i am not trying to explain anything to you outside of my own terminology lets just say this one is for me. maybe another post here will be of more interest to you but, how to give praise for to a mature for a blow job well received. i do apologize but someone gave me a few tips on how to get more hits to your blogsite .. and those words are a few so. nevermind them. let me talk about time.

time is mental. its the watch on your hand its the clock on the wall. and for those of us with true time guaging skills .. its the sun in the sky. but time is mental. all in our heads. sometimes individually and more often than not, collectively. time moves in one direction and memory moves in the opposite .. memory doesn't grasp a moment until time lets go of it.

it has been noted that marijuana squeezes out or frazzles and stretches the usual and ordinary sense of time. mary jane is time's worst enemy. i mean she does more than just ... take a dump on father time, she also helps many of those people who often need to pres pause on their lives. i know of many times i wish i could have pressed pause. will this blog bite me in the ass in 30 years? see there i go romanticizing time ... and its all in my mind.

"the 60's pop music, characteristically a psychedelic style [fueled by LSD] was ideologically ... hallucinatory, transforming concrete time and space into a higher realm of imagination and art. " i read that somewhere i think i am paraphrasing, but i wont take credit for summarizing the 60's so exactly ... so eloquently. i think it went on to talk about how humans are creatures of time, and slaves to it. willing slaves. we look at days and months and years, and that is what makes us age .. our perception of time. time will not be found on the periodic table of elements. ever wonder what that is all about? that means that no substance at its core has any relationship to time ... physically. though time may also belong to it ... even this is hard to grasp ... even while you are holding mary jane's hand.

time though not tangible is still physical. hmmm ever wonder what else could be what time can do? time .. once seriously studied, can be as hard to explain .. well hard for me .. but time finds itself classed with other things like the human mind, its soul .. its body. our bodies are [the temple of the God] and another text says our body is essentially just an aqueous suspension of giant organic molecules .. designed to defy gravity .. while gravity wield time as its weapon against us. who will win? stay tuned ...

our watches .. our seiko's and rolexx's and casio's all have a similar rhythms. but we still follow those rhythms differently. we let it seduce us ... those rhythms control us more than i think.

one time i was ...

2007-09-11T20:48:00.000-07:00

i really don't want to post what i have written
not because it compromises my character
but because its not copy-written and will be stolen forthwith
if you aren't gonna steal my shit
make a promise to me ...
write it down on a piece of paper sign it for me and then send it to the
charmin ultra tissue company RE: T.Johnson special blend
then email me and i will share
but if you are going to steal an idea or two
just tell me ...
a lil honesty aint never hurt mel gibson
though he didn't give the Gideons a dime ... [i am sure]

Who is Enough?

2007-09-11T20:44:00.000-07:00

if all i had was me
would that be enough?
would that be enough for you
or for my English teacher to give me a 'b' instead of the 'd'
she seemed so eager to place upon my paper
cuz my work wasn't up to her standards?
would i be enough to walk up to and talk up to Saddam and
ask that madman why he did the way he did
indoctrinating kids to fight for reasons
he didn't believe in enough to fight for himself
would i be enough to take on the extra assignments
at the office that no one else wants because
i would cut my solitaire time in half
separating myself from the average staff as being more
when the point of the assignment was my boss's raise maker
if all i had was me is that enough for a raise?
would i be enough to write the song that would unite
those with the same thoughts, do i need to do more than
the little i do now, but how
would i be enough to sit my mother and my sister down
over dinner and prove my lesbian sister a lesser sinner
to encourage love, am i enough to make love happen in my own
home, in my own heart i wonder am i enough
if all i had was me and no boys in the crew
no beer jokes and cigar smokes would i be enough to myself
am i enough am i all it takes to stop helplessness
and homelessness, cant i take that guy in off the street
i got a spare room and would like to assume that i can
i got more than i need, more clothes and food and time
and money but is the little i have, enough to give
would i be enough to empty orphanages when there are kids
growing up antagonized and without friends
would i be enough to brighten anyones day with a smile
with a listening ear, with truth in saying i care
how can i be enough to stop the crime its happening all the time
how can i be enough, life's a tree i still gotta climb
would i be enough to the families i drive by
avoiding saying hi cuz i really don't have time to talk
about them and their problems and discover the problems
and solve them for them who cant
if all i had was me and my hands and feet
to help the lady out there on the street
with three kids and a huge headache
change her two tires before i get too tired
to go home and wish i was enough of the man
i wish to be
so that i could make love to a woman
i thought was enough for me

Dedication to TalkRadio

2007-08-27T20:54:00.001-07:00

please realize i realize we are all poets, i accept the mantle, i know it suits others a bit better, mines feels a lil wetter than usual, but thats besides the point, and above the part, i am stalling before you start to read. so i took a stab again and emptied my trashy mind again its amazing how quickly stuff get in here that shouldn't be hear, or here or heard. but my mind makes em into words and so here i type.

the fu ... that i don't care with
can sink ships
will make lips stop and slip
tripping over little words like
why and how again and again like
why and how and when
now can you press pause
like you're pressing down hard
on the gauze that the nurse just
bandaged your head up in
be glad you're not bed-ridden
or love smitten like those folks there
over where freedom is not a word
verbs like that aren't often heard
instead there are words of dread
even life seems dead
to those of you and me who refuse to see
that what we are doing here and now
even now and here are related lies
and we believe we will survive
and live false lives of false cries
but those folks there real cries haunt us, daunt us
make me feel like we're stuck
and i myself can't give a fu ...

It's not meant to be cynic, or scenic or graphic, its just what i did, with the CNN i cant rid and the MTV and E! i wish the TV did. get rid of. its not meant to be deep or sweet, or neat. or callous or cold, like life i guess its meant to get old, before its understood. i'd explain it now ... you dare me ??? i would. nah i'm just playing. i'm good. you would just never remember it anyway.

-fin.

The Day I Didnt Give a Sh!t

2007-07-08T12:48:00.000-07:00

(this has been deemed un-apprpriate and removed ... i do care and apologize for offending it.) it will be probably re-posted after giving the topic a bit more ... head time.

... the bahamas tries

2007-04-05T20:14:00.000-07:00

anna nicole: 'noun' - um the lady who cause alot of reporters and news teams from foreign stations to come here and take lots of video footage and investigations and interviews. and she's dead now, but her legacy (... is that the right word) lives on. maybe she is immortal or at least someone has granted her at least 4 years of fame after she dies. we are in year .. um one.

the bahamas' response: um, (do i have to type um) ... it seems kinda arbitrary but anyway for the moment. um the bahamas' has a way of mixing religion, politics, and drinking (usually alchohol) into ... um everything. as far as anna is concerned, i think we mixed the first two in pretty easily, but i wasn't invited to the funeral or 'wake' or (whats the thing afterwards) um reception. but wait theres more.

maybe i am out of my league (trying to analyze this whole situation) this really doesn't matter though. or does it? i work near the city of nassau, maybe in the city ok like i work in proximity of the reporters and rawson square and ... the geographical location doesn't matter. but i often walk pass the people who [aren't] responsible for all the glitz and drama surrounding anna's death, her son's death, and her baby's future with one of four (or is it five now) wow. what does that say about anna again?

let me try to phrase this as basically and truthfully as possible. we a doing our best to sympathize with a playboy model, who seduced and possibly used an elderly gentleman (made him happy though) while seeing many other guys. so much so that they all figure they can stake a claim to being a father ... of a terribly young baby. thats like realizing that one woman sleeps with four (or more) guys within the space of maybe a month. is that ... um worthy of ... further discussion.

so anyway this reminds me of an analogy me and my boys were struggling with. maybe a response could help. whats the difference between a slut a whore a skank a trick a prostitute a harlot or a bitch? this small paragraph is not really a part of the others but it might help clarify some things that were floating in my mind.

back to anna. i watch tv. i hate tv. but i watch it. i travel with my iriver media player and i seem only to use it when i am on some line, or in a lobby where the tv is on and while others are forced to watch fox, cnn, or or msnbc, i turn to my player and tune out the BS. i wish one of their reporters woulda stopped me. 'hey sir, what do you think of the way your government is handling our anna's affairs' to which i rehearsed several times my response 'um anna nicole ... yeah i never found personal pleasure in her pictures'

so, lets see. is the bahamas wrong? and the bahamian politician close to the situation, looks ... bad. i mean its not something i woulda stopped myself from doing .. hey i am a guy, she's sexy i woulda snapped a few pics for posterity. i woulda hung out. i dont think i woulda accepted money from her. or get her set up so ... mysteriously, magically quickly. um politics is not my forte. and analyzing it, though fun, can be quite a tiresome quarrelsome undertaking. and its 10 pm and i'd rather be sleeping (or drinking)

life is weird. the bahamas isnt a beach but sometimes i think the world acts as if thats where we are educated. there's alot to learn on a beach. (i wont go into those lessons now) you would have to be here to understand. waitaminute we are supposed to mix drinks somewhere in this story, behind me is the bar and i think i came prepared so enough blogging for now.